I think I may be getting sick. Blame Dillan. Swine.

I have my preliminary examinations starting in a week and a half. I am stressed more than anyone could actually anticipate. I guess cos they’re essentially yearlies (year 11 only goes for 3 terms, by October I’ll be in year 12), they’re SO overwhelming. But I’m working, I spent a lot of the weekend making notes (namely for art, English and Software Design) and stuff. I don’t know, right now I can’t bring myself to study. Mainly cos my feet absolutely kill and make me want to chop them off.

I haven’t really talked about this before, because its not really my place to, but a friend of mine (Naomi) has gone through a really stressful month, and, for family reasons, yesterday she moved to Spain (to live). I don’t really see her a lot anymore (after switching groups) but she’s still a good friend so on Friday, the night before she left, her friends organized a going away party for her, which I obviously attended. Dillan managed to come along this time too, which was really great. The night was nice, if not a little awkward. I mean, it wasn’t like a party because it was a farewell, but because Naomi’s friends are all so different, there was a lot of grouping off which didn’t leave good impressions, especially since Dillan & I couldn’t really find people to stick with. But I guess it was ok too because we both had incredibly bad headaches (well that’s the scale of mine at any rate). But other than that it was a really nice night to say goodbye to her, I can’t imagine starting a new life at 17 in another country (especially since she can’t speak Spanish). I’ll miss her.

I seriously hate me so much. Whenever it is exam time, I get the most creatively inspired. I can never get this inspired other times, and I have no way to channel this because I need to study. Ahhhh.

Anyway, big talk recently with Social. Yeah this time I’m just giving in and going, not trying to avoid it because I know in the end I won’t, and if I do I’ll regret it. Mum let me buy my dress online again, soon this beauty will be mine. Just need shoes (which is proving to be a problem because I find any heel under 3″ awkward, yet if I wore proper heels, I’ll be taller than Dillan. Dilemma.). Yeah, as you can see all the studying I need to do isn’t really getting done.

It has been so long since I’ve run out of things to blog about but this week seriously… I mean, its not for a lack of things going on, just, y’know how there are things you don’t want to mention online? Yeah, its all that. Although, amongst all the drama, I did discover a little hidden Asian grocery store (discover is the wrong word, cos I always knew it was there, just not what was in it haha) that sells this amazing blueberry flavoured iced tea. It actually makes my life complete. So yes. That is my cool story.

You know what, I’m just going to end this because I don’t feel like talking about anything else.

Actually, I don’t know if I ever mentioned but I’m going to Soundwave 2011! I don’t think any human can comprehend how excited that makes me, because motherfucking BAYSIDE are playing. Anyone who knows me will know they are my deadset favourite band. I’m going with my friend Jess (y’know, the one who lives 2 hours away) and her friends, and most probably Dillan. Its going to be so great, I’m so excited!

Ok NOW I don’t have anything to talk about.

I am so disorganised, so all over the place. But alas, I have returned, battered, bruised and exhausted. But I swear it was one of the best weeks.

So there we are, Sunday morning, 6:30am at school. 104 of us board a bus, heading for a 7 hour bus ride (including two stops – bought a double espresso at one and that made me nap, bought a magazine (Russh) at another). Get down to the Sport and Recreation centre we were staying at, and meet the boys school for the first time. Had a bit of an introduction, got to our lodges (I was in a room with Stella, Maddie, Stacey, Melanie (Smell) and Rosie) and went to hire our gear (snowboarding stuff ftw!). It was a kind of boring night but we got acquainted with the other boys school, sorted groups for things like boarding/dinner/night activities and rooms and stuff.

We started visiting the snow on Monday. It took a bus & two trains to get to the snow, those daily rides nearly killed me. Our boarding instructor was the best, Tom. Think stereotypical surfie dude with dreadlocks and blonde hair and lanky and stuff. Trust I get out to the snow and my goggles break, so I had to wear his. Snow boarding is difficult as hell, by the way. They say you’ll spend a lot of time on your arse but in the long run you’ll choose to because standing up is like death. By the end of the first day my hips/tailbone were so sore it wasn’t fair. The first day was a blizzard too, so after our lessons we didn’t go much, just chilled in the ridiculously overpriced coffee shop. After our time at the snow was over, we had free time in which Stella, Stacey, Maddie and I hung out with a few of the boys playing poker and chilling out with music (one kid, Michael, had a perfect music taste). That night was also the start of the ‘night activities’ the camp people set up to entertain us. We had to run a mini-market kind of thing and work at “stalls” (Stace, Mads, Stell, and two guys called Hugh and AJ and I were all working on the “secret messages” postal service lmao) which was kind of rubbish but fun for getting to know people.

The next day, Tuesday, was the best conditions on the snow. Struggled with my boarding again but I don’t think I’ll ever be a pro boarder so its cool. Did a few runs which was good enough. Chilled out in the snow with Stacey, Maddie and Chrystal again after, made snow boobies and angles and things. So much fun. That night was also “movie night” – they played Zoolander which was pretty alright. Wednesday again with the snow, blizzard. Only did half the lesson cos the conditions were so bad. It was a pretty crappy day weather wise anyway, and because by then our teachers decided that you couldn’t hang out in common rooms of other peoples, we were pushed out into the BBQ area of a sports field – it was freezing. Wednesday night there was a trivia night. In a group with Stacey, Maddie, Hugh, AJ, Stella, Max, Jess and Patricia, we came third I think. There were challenges mixed in too, I got to participate in a lovely fashion parade of superhero nature. Lamest thing.

Thursday, the last full day. Even worse conditions in the snow, I didn’t even go to my lesson, just chilled out in the coffee shop with a bunch of injured people (Maddy, Amy, Jack, AJ (you should see this kid’s face, looks like he was mauled by a bear), Jay) and waiting for everyone else to come back up. Being the lovely social people we were we spent a lot of time just adding everyone on facebook, lmao. That afternoon was spent saying goodbye to Stacey (she had to leave a day early), returning boards and stuff, and having the boys hide in our rooms (we were not hanging out in the rain again). The night activity, a disco. The lamest thing the world ever graced. Bush dances, macarena… you had it all. I spent a lot of the night doing my own thing, which naturally resulted in a lot of people making sure I could stand (my shoes broke, my boots… the heal ripped off… and trying to rave on your own with broken boots isn’t something I should have attempted). But it was still fun and kind of bad because it meant the camp was ending.

Friday morning was full of goodbyes, some harder than for others. Long bus ride was long but seemed shorter. Return home, facebook is all mental, talking to people (Hugh, Max, AJ) and kind of lamenting the fact that camp was over. I didn’t want it to be over at all, it became so comfortable and the friends I’ve made were completely unexpected, but I’m glad I did. So all in all it was a pretty good camp!

Friday itself was a really shit over-dramatic day but long story short, relationship drama is lame. S’all good now, Dillan and I saw each other on Saturday, bought Kiss-Ass Collectors Edition and Skins S04 on DVD, awesome stuff. Kick Ass came with a T-shirt! Its practically a dress on me but y’know. Saturday night went over to Stacey’s and had a little 40 Hour Famine sleepover. Watched Skins. Love those girls, I’m so glad I’m friends with them again.

So yeah, all in all things are alright with me. I’m getting generally happier and more comfortable with excising. Or maybe I’m just in a pretty good mood so. Reviewed Scott Pilgrim vs. the World too, so those who wanted to see that can do so there!

New layout, too! Its a boring one but y’know. I’ll try better next time.

Sorry this is so long, lmao. Promise it won’t be later.

Things are changing.

School is at this really odd place right now. You see, we’re finishing up the grade. In the middle of the second semester. Year 11 is like that. So right now we’re finishing up all our assessments/assignments (English speech went well, just need to re-proof my Geography report [2700 words on ethnic communities in my area... sounded a lot more fun before I actually started]), and then we have exams in like 5-6 weeks or something. Its actually been death but its weird to think that this grade will all be over in a matter of 7 weeks.

Its also different with friendship groups. Like, its no secret that the current people I sit with at school aren’t my closest friends. Other than Smell and Chris, I do not hang out with any of them, really. Its always been like that, but I think things are finally changing now. I was talking to Samantha all Friday lunch – Samantha and I have always known eachother, always been in eachothers classes, but only now have actually started talking outside of them and being friends – and then Maddie and Stacey came along and we all basically agreed; I’m going to start sitting with new people. Namely Stacey and Maddie and their group. Stacey and Maddie used to sit with the people I currently do, but couldn’t handle the drama of it all and made their own group. And they’re more than happy to put up with me so I’m going to be there now. Its actually the best feeling in the world because I’m so sick of sitting at lunch being bored to tears, or listening to other people talk about things they do without you. Its just like, stupid.

I guess it all ties in with snow week next week (keeping in mind that I’m Australian and its winter here so there is still snow in the mountains). Everything was all complicated with it cos of figuring out rooms, but I’m going to be with Smell (cos despite her being in the “old” group, she’s still nice), Maddie, Stacey, Stella and this new girl, Rosie (who most people seem to like but I don’t know like, at all, so we’ll see how that goes – she sits with the people I’m leaving, she’s all tight with them, but she’s also new so its like, eh). I also need to sort out packing things (went shopping for some stuff today, bought the COOLEST underwear and the COOLEST pitch black sheets. Thought you should know lmao) and actually mentally prepare myself for this. 6 days. Waking up at 5am on Sunday morning to be at school at 6:30 to leave will be hell. Not to mention that this trip is in conjunction with a boys highschool, so all the girls will be annoying and boy-crazy. Boy-crazy girls annoy the hell out of me. But I guess I’m just biased cos it isn’t Dillan’s school, lmao.

But other than that, what have I been up to? Not much, honestly. Saturday was another rather pleasant day, Dillan and I went to the city for a while (got irresponsible with magazines again, as you can see), and went back to his for a bit, chilling. Its actually weird for us cos this is the 2nd week in a row we haven’t seen a film (if you read my blog regularly you’ll know that we see A LOT of films). It’ll be fine though next week, cos Scott Pilgrim VS the World comes out. But yeah, its cool that while film-seeing is kind of our “thing”, we can still have a nice time not doing that. Yeah, I’m blabbering again, I know. I’m sorry.

Speaking of films, did a bit of site clean-up on Friday, and I’ve figured that cos I see so many films, that I ought archive all the films I do see & what I think about them. I don’t know, check it out here if you want. I’ve done all the films that have been released from this year and a few from late last year.

Also speaking of which, I have been meaning to change the layout here for AGES but cos everything has been so busy lately I haven’t had a chance. Hopefully with snow week next week this week will be quiet so I can have some time to do the things I want that aren’t homework. Well that, and go to the hairdresser. Fringe again. I know, every time I’ve had a fringe this year I’ve just grown it out and pinned it back, but my massive forehead is starting to scare me, so we’re going to rock it up, old Hayley Williams style.

You know what, I’m just going to make a to-do list. That’ll solve all my problems.

So I’m talking to Dillan about social networking, and turns out I have accounts on 10 sites. He says I’m going to be kidnapped. I say I need to sort out my life, lmao.

This week has been really really depressing. Started with finding out that my grandfather has bowel cancer, then continued with a lot of rain. And a lot of walking in said rain. So getting very wet. And an extraordinary amount of coffee – though that’s not depressing. But you know those weeks that just basically suck and you can’t shift yourself and just end up all emo? Yep, that’s me this week.

But I guess its all good, cos Saturday was such a good day. Met up with Dillan (oh and I’ve never really shown you guys what he looks like, have I? BEHOLD! of half his face), went to the city. Nommed on Red Vines (and coffee). Chilled in DVD shops for hours (legitimately hours, lmao. Sad thing is, we didn’t even buy anything. Honestly, what the hell…). Then I really needed to buy some stuff for that night, because Camilla was having a party and I wear the same thing all the time. So my parents gave me money, and I managed to buy a really nice black dress and killer shoes (curious? lookbook. And a better look at the shoes here – yes I’m quite proud of them. Got them half price, how couldn’t I be?!). By the time I’d done all that, though, there wasn’t much time left so we just went back to another food court and chilled. Honestly, the amount of time that I spend in the food court in the mall up the road is insane, I’m there more often than I’m in my own dinning room, and that is no exaggeration. But yeah, I’m lame and love that kind of thing. Anyway, after I said goodbye to him, I had Camilla’s dinner party kind of thing. Lots of girls, lots of Spanish music (Camilla’s an Argentinean, so). Its actually quite amazing that I managed to boogie (yes, boogie) in my heels. But yes, it was very calm, very obtuse conversations were made. I got a lot of compliments, too. I don’t know how to handle compliments usually, so it was a bit… yeah. But yes.

Yeah, I really fail at blogging today. See, we have this speech due next week for English and I’ve been working and working on it. Its about protest literature, and I’m doing This Is England (cos it protests against the British National Front and all), so I’m half working on that, and half doing blog things… multitasking is my death sometimes.

There is seriously not much else for me to talk about, really. I guess cos I’m constantly torn over the kind of blog I want to run, I want to blog more like people like Shelley Mulshine, but I’m not that kind of person to constantly take photos and I’m actually not all that interesting (in case you can’t tell). So BLAH. Besides, the kind of things that are always on my mind aren’t always the kind of things I’m comfortable writing about.

Speaking of discomfort, this year people are organising a “social”. Think Homecoming dance, but after exams. Its like last years Formal, but less dressy, and on a boat. I was NOT keen on going to Formal last year, but went last minute, so I have a feeling a similar thing will occur here. I’m not all that keen on actually being there, but I mean, I want a dress (cos basically, in the end that’s why I went last year. And I was this dress A LOT). And I think there’s this level of expectation that I’ll come to this cos I would have a date. There’s this assumption that girls with boyfriends just go to these things, just to show off their man. And I mean, its nothing against Dillan, but living to standards like that just don’t seem worth it. I don’t know, these kind of things will be the death of me. School dances and proms and all that just aren’t my thing.

Whatever, I need to work on this speech. And work on fixing my bruises; I have about 14 in various places on my body. I don’t know how I’ve achieved this…

Rules of blogging; don’t blog when you’re angry, depressed, overjoyed, or apathetic. I always break my own rules.

Just so we’re clear, I’m currently rather apathetic. I’m irrationally tired. Its been an interesting week; Tuesday was back to school. I mean, yeah, its all right. We’ve been getting a lot of test results back, and I’ve done so surprisingly well in everything (92% & 100% for maths so far, 90% on my Othello essay and 93% on my History test) which is really really ace. I also had a History report due in Tuesday which I’d done over the holidays, and a speech which I gave on Wednesday. I’ve also finished Software last term which is due this Friday, and Art which is due Friday after next. Though I do have a speech due Wednesday after next for English (on This Is England – its honestly the best related protest text I could find, so much to write about) and then a Geography report in 3 weeks.

Seems like a lot. That was more of a list for me to say to put things in perspective, so ignore me.

Speaking of perspective, saw Inception yesterday. This is probably one of the most incredible films I have seen. Not just because I loved it to pieces, but because it was such a piece of art. It was beautifully made, directed, produced… all ‘film’ aspects were divine. The actors performances (namely Joseph Gordon Levitt and Marion Cotillard) were all top notch. But seriously, SPOILER warning. This was a really plot heavy film, a film which you can have hour long conversations about (which is what I’m doing with Samantha right now). It got really confusing at times, like you’d need to take a break for a second to figure out where you are in the film, but it worked. Especially the parts where they actually try inception, the reminder of the layers with the car & Arthur & Eames & then Cobb was done really really well. The mixing of reality and dreams was the scrambling beauty of the film. As with the ending, I was reading this (basically outlines how Cobb’s ring was his totem, not the top, and how because he wasn’t wearing it at the end, it was reality) and that’s actually made perfect sense to me, so I’m going with that. After I saw the film, I actually did think that Cobb was in his reality, and that Nolan just didn’t show the top falling over. I figured because in their canon, projections in dreams were from your subconscious, so faces you’ve seen, people you’ve known. Cobb had never met Ariadne before he asked her to be the Architect, he was even introduced to her, so she’s a completely foreign figure. So, how could they have interacted if it wasn’t reality? As with Robert Fischer, Jr. and Browning. But throw that into the mix with the fact that the top wasn’t even his totem, it was Mals, makes it clear that his ring HAD to be his totem, therefore the ending reality.

Well, that’s just my rambling at any rate.

But yeah, that took up a part of Saturday. Saturday was actually complete shambles. Trains were out, & we had to figure out the night cos it was Nick’s birthday gathering (for lack of better term). After we saw the film, I had to get flipping changed in a back alley in the city, then met up with Nick and some guy (James, I think he was. I don’t know, he just looked SO much like Joe Jonas, so I referred to him as that), and then find Elisha and Maddy. And then they wanted Maccas, so they did (Australians; seriously, how good is the Apple Fanta slushie thing from there?!). Then we walked for what must’ve been like, 500 years (30 mins?) to find this park, which we chilled in for a bit. Then a bunch of people from my “group” from school came, though I didn’t spend a lot of time with them (Maddy & I needed to use the loo, so we spent like an hour searching for loo’s with Joe Jonas and Dillan), and they soon left once we returned. So it was the 6 of us, some guy came on his bike for half an hour but he left soon too. So it was kind of a “fail party” by terms, but it was actually still alright. I think it would have been better if it were just the 6 of us, but y’know. I guess it was just nice being out & with people & stuff. Something different, its nice.

Anyway, this is really long and I should probably do some more school work or something, I don’t know. I talk too much.